I wish I didn't have to write this post, but I want to put this behind me. We had our second ultrasound today and it showed that the little guy didn't survive. The technician said the sac was quite large which could indicate that it had a genetic abnormality. The good news is that the stronger one is doing great. A heartbeat of 167 which we could see on the screen very clearly, and tiny legs and arms.
I was quite shaken by the bad news but now have to focus on the good news - that we have one healthy little fetus. I had started growing attached to the idea of twins, but at the same time was feeling quite scared about what is technically a high risk pregnancy. The image of my husband holding twins in my mind is what makes me the saddest, but I hope that the little guy inside me right now can thrive and stay in there to term.
All we wanted from the IVF was one healthy little baby, and so far that is the track we are on. I have an NT scan at my new hospital in about 3 weeks, so that seems to be my next big "hurdle".
I left my clinic today for the last time - the nurse today said "congratulations, you've graduated!" - at this stage, there was something comforting about being at the clinic while pregnant and now moving onto an OB is a bit daunting. My doctor gave me a big hug and told us to come back when the baby is 3 months - that seems like a lifetime away right now. I feel like I have been through so much in the last few months, it's hard to imagine my life beyond this stage.
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It's a surreal experience to be 'graduating' from the clinic isn't it? After years with mine it was almost sad to be walking out those doors for the last time. So sorry to hear your other little one didn't make it (((BIG HUG)))Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about the little one.. My heart goes out to you. I understand that even despite the good news for your growing baby, the it makes sense to grieve for something lost. I'm thinking of you and sending prayers. Congrats on graduating to the OB! Kinda nerve racking, it sounds like. Hang in there and best wishes.
ReplyDeleteOh sweetie, I'm so sorry. Sometimes the things that are "meant to be" just SUCK. I hope that you can enjoy your pregnancy - and your RE graduation! - despite the sad news.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Jeannine
I am so sorry that you lost the little one. I am happy though that your second one is strong and doing well. Congratulations on graduating!!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about the little guy. Keep your chin up despite this hurdle.
ReplyDeleteso sorry to hear about this news, but there is great joy in knowing you have one healthy baby in there! give yourself some time to grieve if you need to. it's okay to be happy and sad at the same time.
ReplyDeletecongrats on graduating!
OH... I'm so sorry for your Loss!! I can't even imagine how difficult that is.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the graduation, despite the loss! And thank God for the blessing that is still there!
I have also just given you a blog award! xox
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear the news. I imagine it is difficult to be so incredibly happy and so incredibly sad at the same time. Prayers to you for nothing but good news for the rest of your pregnancy.
ReplyDelete