I have decided to take some significant time off from work to go through my IVF cycle. I found out a few months ago that I have been accumulating holiday time over the last 5 years – who knew – and now I have 19 days of additional vacation time!!! I started thinking about all the things I could change about this cycle versus my previous IUI cycles – and the reduction of stress from work has always been the thing that kept creeping back into my head when I asked – what did I do wrong? I don’t believe that stress has kept me from getting pregnant all these years, but it sure couldn’t hurt to eliminate some of it.
I have two bosses, one of whom knows what I am going through - she caught me crying at the office and I finally just gave in and told her and hoped she’d be sympathetic. She was very sympathetic, which I am totally grateful for, but I don’t think either of them are too thrilled with me taking a full 4 weeks off. To be honest – I had already decided when I “asked” for the time off that it wasn’t really up for discussion; I was just going to take it.
A friend asked me if my doctor told me to take that time off, and I realized that it might seem like a lot to take that much time off for an IVF, maybe even selfish? I am sure many women just call in sick for a few days. However, I really can’t fathom the idea of coming into work a) when I am (hopefully) so bloated from follicle stimulating drugs, or b) totally crazed during the 2ww. During my past IUI cycles I was practically useless anyway, since all I did was search web for pregnancy symptoms (has anyone ever really had implantation bleeding???) or success stories to keep me going.
I took a few days to figure out how to tell my clients they wouldn’t be able to get a hold of me for a month (I’m going to try to avoid my blackberry too). I didn’t want to say I was taking vacation because I recently took a two week vacation, and I thought that might seem flaky of me to take off again so soon.
I decided I would tell people I was taking a “medical leave”. So far, I have told three clients, all of whom have gone silent and then sounded worried with an “I hope everything is OK”. I think “medical leave” is cryptic enough that people don’t ask anymore questions, and I haven’t volunteered any further information – I like to keep people on their toes! By the sounds of their reactions they may think I am dying or have some sort of terminal illness. I certainly don’t want to compare infertility or going through an IVF with any of these things, but I just didn’t know how else to handle it. Hopefully no one is tact-less enough to ask any prying questions.
As for my time off, I have made myself a few promises. I figure if I am going to make the most of this time, I need to do certain things that will make me feel like I did everything I could to increase my chances of success. This means:
- I will eat only healthy food (I am back on my "clean diet" as of last Friday)
- I will only get together with people that make me happy
- I will meditate and practice deep breathing
- I will practice certain yoga poses everyday
- I will watch only movies/TV that make me feel good (no scary or depressing movies)
- I will read only books that are uplifting or funny
(There are probably others, but I can’t seem to remember them all)
My naturopath said something very poignant to me – she said to make sure that I don’t feel guilty if I don’t do these things because it can become a vicious cycle - feeling stressed – trying to do things that reduce stress – then feeling guilty for feeling stressed in the first place and not doing de-stressing things, thereby increasing the stress. So I also promise not to feel guilt about stress or not keeping all my promises to myself.
I hope that the cycle goes according to plan, and that I don’t have to come back to the office early because of a cancelled cycle, but I will deal with that if the time comes. For now, I just have to assume it will go according to “plan” and count down the days until I have a little break from work.
I have three questions for you ladies out there:
- Has anyone out there made a similar decision to take time off around an IVF (more than a few days)?
- What did you tell people you were going to be doing during your time off?
- What did you do with your time off?
It's Been Awhile
7 years ago
i haven't taken any time off for IVF or anything, but i just wanted to say that i think you're making the right decision. what i've come to learn is that the only person who can/does really look after you is yourself (excepting i suppose your partner)...so i think it's great that you're taking the time that you need to look after you.
ReplyDeletei've thought about what i would say if i needed the time off, and i think "medical leave" is a good way of saying it without leaving an invitation for anyone to keep asking questions.
i was diagnosed with graves' disease in december of last year and so whenever i need time off i always just say i have a specialist appointment -- and leave it at that.
good luck with it all...i'm sure the time off relaxing will do you the world of good.
b :)
I think its great that you have decided to take some time off. Hopefully you will find something fun to do. If I were you, I would probably read the entire Harry potter series (again!)
ReplyDeleteIs there any possibility you can take off with your hubby for a weekend (especially during the TWW)? I love bed and breakfast places. It doesn't have to be far, and it will be nice to have someone get breakfast ready for you. Anything to minimize the random thoughts that are bound to abound. When do you start the cycle? Loads of luck :)
P.S - Dr. Google is evil, but I am sure you already know that :P
Just lurking from ICLW (I know, I'm early!) Sounds like you have a great plan in place to take some time off work to ease your stress levels. I only took a week off between egg collection and transfer because I got a mild dose of OHSS and was in alot of pain but my work knows everything so I didn't have to come up with a story. This time I plan to take a few days after transfer too just to rest. All I can say is try to keep busy and distracted! Maybe go away for a few days with your hubby and stay away from Google!! GOOD LUCK!!
ReplyDeleteI only took the standard 4 days off but I wish I could have been off more. I think it would have really helped with stress.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
ICLW 85
I would definitely not feel guilty. You need to do what is best for you. I sort of did the same. I had to continue going to my full time job but I teach a fitness class on the side and stopped doing that for six weeks. Doing ab work with injection bruises would have been miserable. My cover was "personal reasons" but people started to ask. We started a construction project at home right around the start of the cycle and it was great cover timing for both jobs because I needed extra flexibility for dr appts
ReplyDeleteHow fortunate for you to be able to take that level of time off. I think it will do you the world of good (and hopefully bring yout he BFP). It's not that I believe relaxing will get you pregnant, but having been through a cycle I can tell you it is stressful and emotional and hard and having nothing else to wrry about will be great. Not having to think about everything you say to the people at work when you are hormonal will be awesome too.
ReplyDeleteIf I may add some assvice in terms of what you could do with your time. Try to spend it doing the things you love doing, the things that make you smile. If you have hobbies make time for these.
And I agree with your naturopath, do not stress about not doing all the relaxing things you hope to do. Take it one day at a time and try to go with the flow.
Wishing you the very best of luck!
Happy ICLW
I think time off would be a great thing. Its been proven that stress has an impact on the success of IVF. And absolutely, dont feel guilty...thats always a problem for me, feeling guilty for doing things that I enjoy.
ReplyDelete