OMG

933!!! That's my beta number! I still can't believe it.
I did a home pregnancy test on Wednesday, two actually, both which were positive, but I was not ready to believe it until I did my blood test today.

I am ecstatic, as is my husband, but I would still describe myself as being cautiously optimistic. I want to enjoy this time, but not get ahead of myself. I did already go out and buy "What to Expect When You're Expecting" - funny, when I went off the BCP 2.5 years ago, I bought a similar book because I thought I should educate myself because of course I would be preggo right away. It is now packed away in a box somewhere having only been read up to the 2nd chapter.

I have told more people than I would like about this news - but all of them knew about the IVF, and all are close family and friends and understand that I don't want to broadcast this yet - except here on my blog where I am anonymous.

I am so thrilled to know that I am able to get pregnant - I have never seen that second line before and it really shook me. Thanks for all your kind words and posts, it has made this time very special. I also want to congratulate my "cycle buddies" - Mummy in Waiting and Gurlee as both of them have been fortunate with their IVFs as well.

My husband said something really sweet today - he said that he saw a bunch of little kids in Halloween costumes and thought about how cute they were, and for the first time in a while, he didn't feel jealous or sad. I've had the same reactions to pregnant women and women with strollers over the last couple of days - instead of glaring at them or feeling sad/jealous/angry/depressed, I felt fine.

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As an update to my last post - I did accept the job and was really excited, but then started to worry that I was setting myself up for a stressful situation where my job wasn't secure. Now that I have the results of my beta, I have decided to tell them I will not be taking the job after all - the situation would just be too uncertain and it would likely mean being out of a job as I go into maternity leave.

Just to clarify about mat leave here in Canada, it is 12 months, and the government will pay you for 12 months as long as you have worked a certain number of days within the 6 or 12 months leading up to your time off - the amount is based on your salary and tops out at about $1600/month).